What to do with another guy in a threesome

You are far from alone in your desire for ménage a trois. A recent study from the University of Montreal found that 31 percent of women have fantasized about having sex with two men.

If you're adding another man to the equation for the first time, "it's perfectly normal to feel intimidated or awkward at the outset," says Jess O'Reilly, Ph.D., author of The New Sexy Bible. "The key is to come up with a well-thought-out plan of do's and don'ts to make sure you indulge your fantasies while maintaining and respecting your boundaries."

It is important to clarify your desires as well as your inhibitions with your partner before your guest leaves and the clothes are removed. Talk to your S.O. Eric Marlow Garrison, clinical and forensic sexologist and author of Mastering Multiple Positional Sex, talks about what's comfortable and what's not. For example, can you kiss? What about oral or penetrating?

You should also talk about whether it's okay to mess around with a third party without your partner involved, Garrison says. This will keep jealousy and awkwardness from getting in the way of your fantasy in real life.

When you find your third wheel, get their full consent to explore the activities you and your partner agreed to, Garrison says. And remember, once you start, you can completely change your mind. Make sure you voice your concerns as they arise, he says.

"Any sex can be enjoyable, but it can't always be orgasmic, especially in new situations," Garrison says. So focus on having fun, not just orgasms."

“If you have access to a hot tub, jacuzzi or even a large shower - use it! All this creates the perfect breeding ground for relaxation and eroticism,” says O'Reilly. That's because they require you to be naked (or nearly naked), they're steamy, and they're (literally) hot. Start by kissing both men in turn, Garrison says.

Then there's the matter of racing. Here's a breakdown of how to make this experience memorable, no matter your comfort level.

If... You are intrigued but very nervous about all this

1. Use a blindfold. Blindfolded, tell the guys to slowly come down, kissing, caressing, breathing, licking and stroking on both sides of your body from your neck to your hip bones. Then ask them to return to your chest as slowly as possible. Tell them to wait to give you an oral until you give them the go-ahead. Then let them fight to get their lips and tongues between your legs, O'Reilly says.

Another option is to have your boyfriend guide the third side around your body while you are still blindfolded. He can tell him where and when to kiss and what technique you like.

2. Give orders. Be descriptive about what you want the two guys to do to you. “People respond better to a direct request than to a general one: “Who wants to come down on me? Harrison says. So take control of the situation by guiding them.

If... You are very excited to jump, but not quite sure what to do

3. Do double duty. With plenty of lube, start stroking your third person's cock until it is fully erect while descending on your partner. Then take one rod in each hand and alternate your mouth between them, O'Reilly says.

4. Take completely orally. Part of the fantasy for many women is having multiple experiences that one person can't provide, Garrison says. Sitting up straight, ask one of the guys to give you a light kiss on your neck, making your way down your chest to your nipple. Feel free to tell him what you like. At the same time, use your fingers to show the other guy how you like to be touched so he knows how to move his tongue properly. Then ask him to jump right now.

If... you are ready for full penetration

If you feel comfortable, try two types of penetration at the same time. Because your sexual organs have tons of nerves, this dual feeling can be surprisingly pleasurable for you, Garrison says. Just remember to use extra lube.

5. Try double penetration. Start by sitting on one of the guys while he lays on his back and start having vaginal sex, Garrison says. You can then lean forward so the second guy can penetrate your anus. To maximize pleasure (and minimize pain), have a more well-endowed penis enter through the vagina, Garrison suggests.

6. Add penetration to the 69 position. Ride one of the guy's faces and ask him to perform oral sex on you while you perform oral sex on him, or your standard 69, Garrison says. Then let the other guy penetrate you - doggy style.