Sexual Desires and Frequency: Normalcy and Individuality

In the world of sexology, there are no taboo topics, and in a new regular column presented by the winner of the "Miss Notebook" project in 2023, sexologist and gestalt therapist Violetta Mastoliarchuk dares to discuss the questions that many have been hesitant to ask. The first topic with which we open this series of conversations is one of the most popular questions: how to determine what is normal in one's sexual life? We will talk about how often and how much one can desire, and why it's important to understand this.

Sex is an individual and entirely natural expression of intimate relationships, and its frequency can vary greatly. However, as Violetta Mastoliarchuk suggests, the norm in this matter depends on the individual characteristics of each person. Some may experience strong sexual desires and want intimacy every hour, while others may be comfortable with intervals of a week. It is important to understand that there is no universal norm, and what you feel and desire is absolutely normal, as long as it does not create discomfort in your relationship.

To better understand this difference, Violetta explains that the bodies of men and women produce hormones differently, which can influence their sexual desires and frequency. This is not only biologically determined but can also depend on physiological and emotional states. Thus, a pair forms and is maintained when both the man and the woman agree on the frequency of sex that satisfies both partners.

But what if the frequency of sexual desires of your partners differs? In this case, it's important to learn how to communicate and find compromises that satisfy both sides. Sexology can provide tools and advice for maintaining healthy and satisfactory sexual relationships in such situations.

Another important aspect raised by Violetta is the question of whether one can control their sexual activity based on an understanding of their own sexual desires and needs. This means that, by being aware of your needs, you can actively influence the frequency and nature of your sexual relationships. Sexology provides tools for discussing and determining your sexual preferences, which contributes to creating a more satisfactory sexual life.